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5 Types of people in A typical Nigerian Church

October 9, 2016

Well I was at church earlier in the day, and at a point in time, the variation of personalities present just hit me and I thought to myself, why not write about it, who knows maybe it’s same everywhere else.

Church name: I dare not say! What if my Pastor stumbles on this? Will you be present to save me when the whole church place me under deliverance???

Witness: Pastor please it’s not me o…

The Types Of People In The Church

The statues:

Trust me when I say, those guys in the picture above are learners compared to this set of people. Once they get to the church, they locate a spot and plant their selves there like mount Zion that can’t be moved, the only movement they make is in answer to when the Pastor says get up to do something or sit.

And also this set of people will never pray, I might be wrong though, #God sees the heart… And they at times would not even pay offering by theirself but rather give it to a kid to drop. At a period I wondered if Pastor hired them as the church’s official living statues.

The walkie talkies:

This set of people need no introduction, they do in fact introduce their selves, they walk about the church like the have an appointment with every single member, most a times their outfit is sporty, you’d think they’re off to hit the tracks, mostly end up with positions that requires that they collect money for certain things to be done in the church and they do it well.

The Speakers of House of Assembly:

But seriously isn’t the church an assembly of believers? well this set of people are the official speakers! They speak all through service, most times disturbing the person’s sitting beside them whom they may not know at all, they are annoying by default, would impose a one way conversation on you about every word the Pastor speaks even when you make it vivid you are not interested, they have a good spirit: they never give up, the way they keep talking to the person next to them, they can easily pass for a personal interpreter from a far look.

The Business Moguls:

NOTE: They are in no way related to Dangote!

These people within short time would have gain a very sharp popularity in the church for the brand they advocate for. There’s one particular member of this group of people in my church, she never hesitates to make a dash for her shop when any of her customers who very well know she will answer comes calling, mostly during Bible study. Such an insolence! No reverence for the…

Wait! Did I forget to mention they are mostly women?! Well now I have. And the super ones among them always attend service with some of their goods and right after service it’ll be dangling in your face.

The true worshippers:

This set of people I envy at times, not devilishly o, they literally give God all of them. Time, money, dedication… name it.

They make up the majority of the victims of the aftermath effects, yes! For the sake of brevity I’m not going to really be highlighting that. They come in two though, the fakers and the Real Personnels. You should understand that.

Aftermath Effects: solely the job of the church gossips, mostly implemented through passing of words around a jobless circle during weekdays. They make preparations for ethical observation during weekends. They are true scientists, ever informed.

Do you have any of these set of people in your church? Which set do you fall in? And which do you think I missed?

Share… #IyafSpoken!
©Cirphrank

All images gotten from Google search

Cirphrank

Cirphrank is a pun. Web developer, content writer, 2D minimalist UI, blogger. Breathing poetry. What makes many mad makes some Philosophers, what makes others sad makes me write. A lover of tech and the arts.

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