During one of my exams (PHY111), I got to see UNIBEN Security men at work. There was a student that was about four (4) seats from where I was seated. He looked normal but there was something fishy about him. 30minutes into the exam, I was having a strange feeling that was familiar in a way, the exam hall was crowded and there was no other means of ventilation aside the windows. I called the invigilator to explain to him that I had to be moved to a place where I can breathe very well. I had started drawing in air like I was asthmatic so the Lecturer needn’t doubt me.
However, in relocating me, he told the ‘fishy’ guy who was sitting close to the window to move to my seat and in the course of him standing up, chukuli[sic] fell out of nowhere. He had written all the formulas as far as the course was concerned in a white handkerchief (YEAH!!!) so it would be easy for him to solve. He tried running out of the exam hall but sadly for him, there were two security men waiting at the door of the Physical science 1000LT. I felt bad for him and I could bet everyone blamed me for the incident.
Why he go say e want go where window dey? Na only am sabi fresh air?
So because e don dey drive car, he think say e don arrive? – Nice rhymes!
U dey mind am? See e glasses sef. Ask am question, e nor gree tell you. Mtchewww
Oh! Don’t get carried away, I was in my Peter Petrelli mode reading the minds of all the students that were looking at me. The truth is I was unavoidably popular in the faculty as a whole, if not for anything, for the fact that before that exam, I ignorantly parked my car where the HOD of MATHEMATICS usually parked his. Ok, that reminds me, please somebody should tell whoever is in charge of allocating parking spaces in Physical Science to please take a clue from the Faculty of Law that has reserved spaces with names for HODs and Deans. In case you are a fresher, HOD means Head of Department.
There was no sign to tell me that space was for him and guess what I got as punishment… the security men barred the car from being parked in Physical science car park. Lami thought it was funny, she was the one that collected the keys from me and wheeled the car away to the back of Geology class (front of ICT building) as I stayed back writing a report at the security office for just parking a car where someone else is supposed to park. We did final revision in the car, A totally different Security official approached us muttering some words, when he saw a girl dressed in white denim and a white top that had ‘NERD’ crested and some crazy heels to elevate her humble height coming out of the car, his “You also can’t park here” turned to murmuring, you just have to love UNIBEN SECURITY personnel.
“Why do you have to dress like this to write just a common exam?” I had asked Lami when I picked her up at home that morning and she said “Because I have a car to jump in and I don’t have any other shoes to match my bag.” SMH!!!!
After I finished my PHY111 exam, while I waited for Lami to finish hers, I realized that I actually had no friend in my department. Making friends was not that hard for me but remembering their names freaked me out. I could meet you today, introduce myself and ask that we be friends and tomorrow, I will ask you to remind me your name. While I was seated under the tree in front of the ICT building, two girls that I could guess were my classmates were passing by and one of them waved towards my direction, something in me warned me not to wave back but I ignored and waved back with a smile. Then I realized I was not the one she was waving at, have you ever been in this kind of situation? I wanted the ground to swallow me.
“It happens, but the ground won’t open you know?” The voice was familiar but I had to turn back to see who was trying to impersonate Miriam. Miriam was standing behind me, a black skirt and white shirt with her hair held at ponytail… She wasn’t alone, she had two girls with her but I didn’t seem to think they existed.
“Now I have a stalker who reads minds, God why me?” I said.
“I came to physical science complex to buy something and saw you sitting alone”
“Oh! Yeah, I am waiting for my friend to finish her exams”
She asked me how my exams had been and I did same. Then the two girls with her came into existence. She introduce their names of which by the way, I had no interest in remembering. They were classmates and they had a paper to write in the afternoon. Miriam seemed to be the youngest among them and they both looked at me talk to Miriam like they were accessing me based on what they have heard about me. Then Lami came to join the little gathering.
Been around the world twice, seen everyone once, but trust me, I haven’t seen anyone yet. The world is filled with people with strange names I tell you. I am the sixteenth of my dad, sixth of my mum and probably the second of my lover. Hit me up on IG @MMDAfegbua